What is....

It then appears that I am indeed thrown out into the world with eyes wide open and desperate, perhaps insane. Its freezing. Out there. And its freezing here. I just feel cold. It must be the dreams. The dreams, returning to plague me again. Hahas, but one funny bit. Saw one of my friends dating Nagato Yuki of Haruhi fame.

It seems, that humans define their existence throught misery and suffering. And maybe that is true for most. Or of a few who can somehow define their existence through happiness. As if in a utopia.

I used to think i was very free. Freer than some other specific persons. And it actually comes to lght that I am as much a prisoner as the next guy. I have such a lousy host body. Does it have to matter?

Idiom(t)

I'd like to quote an idiom. An idiot, qouting an idiom, geddit? lame....i know i am so very lame.

But since i was kinda of an idiot, then maybe i should qoute it after all. Hence leaving it shrouded to the rest. Hopefully it wont hurt anyone. I do hope i can get a day off this weekend. I just wanna relax. Just wanna see if i can learn anything. Big things to do i think. Maybe it will de-idiotify me. Yes. That last one, very very important. Maybe.

From friend to friend;
and enemy to enemy;
but naught means all that above.
Do come back and stay the same.

A random rant

You know, maybe... Never mind. Ya somethings might be true. After all, its human nature. Thus do people grow. Very differently from each other. Or that i am again being an ungrateful idiot or a real selfish ass.

Well, still cant stop things from unfurling. cos God only can. But He wont cos He has great things by which to propser like, everybody. Even if small litttle bugs and thingies in life do annoy/attack us. Still getting my kicks in life anyway.

I'd like a rifle and bullets. Then can camp on a roof and shoot evil criminals like ah longs and robbers and kidnappers and pedophiles. oh, too much vigilante-ness? Sorry folks! See ya on my next post. Yaya. Bye!

Little or none

My life, when i look back at it, is just full of regrets. Or things that I regret over. maybe there is still time. Yeah. Of course, i hope so. Hope. Just the carrot dangling in front of the pack mule to keep it going.

Anyway... I do have stuff to do this holidays. Hoping to enjoy myself. And maybe time to make amends maybe? Im getting frantic now. Hahahas.

Little - Big

That little sliver of fear comes. There are those who choose to ignore such things. Then that little sliver grows into a big sliver. Not funny, i guess. What should i do? Stop lying to myself and do something alr? Maybe im just being an idiot. A blinded idiot.

Time to... i dunno... give thanks?

Killing flaws

That icy hand reaches again. And it hits the target. Bullseye. Bullseye......

I am once more broken. I am once more thrown wide-eyed and desperate into the cold world. Cant trust some people. And some, i can trust after all. But in the end, only up to myself entirely. Only me to accept responsibility for my actions and fate. I have no time to question my fate, it seems. Time exists only for me to attempt climbing up and healing myself. And my flaws. Will. Be. the end of me.

Traitor with a Cause

"The blossoms of the cherry tree already fall like snow. What more can the wind ask of them?" - Ohshikouchi no Mitsune

I continue life. Bearing witness to injustice. Numerous things can be found in the souls of people. The desire to dominate, the desire to exact revenge. In the last 2 weeks, i have seen the worst that some people can offer. I know this - I am a traitor. To them who mercilessly persecute, and i must help further injustice and jealousy? Never. I cut off this new blog for a purpose.

My life is not your weapon of hatred. My sick obession with honour persists. So does the dueling habit and the fencing skill. No, i am not a samurai. Lols. But i will keep my promises even with sharp metallic implements.