Eirei

Watching and watching. Seems to be all i can get around to doing. But i think i seen cool stuff lately, heh heh.

I jump to conclusion too early liao. I am wishing for the best, even if i was wrong.

Anyway..... This just in: Ghost Rider just got sexy.

And i like the cool Ghost Rider fanfiction, hehs.

For now, watch and wait. For Archer, and for the black rendition of the now-famous t-shirt.

Disillusion

Or so i found out, Things have changed.

I knew someone, who had made a difference in my life some time ago. Now the happiness that i so admired has been stripped forcibly from said person. I don't have much to say about this. As if I ever have anything to voice out. I am that kind of silent person. That happiness I used to see and admire, it is replaced with apathy it seems. Even in light of festivities. I feel sorry, yet feeling apathetic too. I want to enjoy and be happy. And that is what I shall do. I have to choose to blind myself to some negativities. I'll be fine though. In fact, better that way. Thats apathy for you. But it's for the better i guess. No more Heaven's feel in reality for me. Only Fate will be in my life. Heaven's feel is just for the game only. =D

yume ni mite ita ano hi no kage ni todokanai sakebi
asu no jibun ha nante egaite mo kienai negai ni nureru

kobore ochiru kakera wo tsukamu sono te de
yureru kokoro kakaete tobi konde ike yoru he

dareka wo ate ni shite mo motomeru mono ja nai no dakara
hontou no jibun ha koko ni irutte me wo tojite inaide

kaze ni makarete GARAKUTA jimita natsukashii egao
asu no jibun nara nante inotte mo toozakaru kotae ha kasumu

kogoesou na karada to hitohira no omoi
kuchihateru sono maeni tobi koete ike yoru wo

dareka wo ate ni shite mo motomeru mono ja nai no dakara
hontou no jibun ha koko ni irutte me wo tojite inaide

dare ka no tame ni ikite kono toki ga subete de ii deshou
misekake no jibun ha sotto sutete tada ari no mama de

Song is: This Illusion (Fate version)

Starting school

Starting school has sure done some stuff to me. I feel alone, or not. I re-established some ties with lower sec era classmates, so I have a clique for now. Well, as for guy to girl ratio, it is pretty bad. Till the new o level students come in, and for now including only the direct admission girls, the ratio is 30:1. How stupid this school is.... I did get to know some of them though. Nothing special, or nothing for me anymore,maybe. I must have lost something a long time ago...

I have a blood test this weekend also. I don't feel scared, cos why should I? Its blood, my blood. The same stuff i remember swallowing when injured. But in school I have been bored enough to write poems.

What do they know of the loner on the plain;
He was versed in book and toil and pain.
He meant no harm, he loved freedom 'stead;
To enjoy the winds in his face 'fore he went to bed.
Surely he was human after'all, not a creature;
For feelings had he ere he'd mature.
And for thrill as all men seek to grasp;
Out went he into the world with reins in clasp.
And found he beauty beyond all reasons known.
There is never justice of any renown.
For battle always follows the silent one,
The work of steel and cunning is never done.
And opponents will plague him ever long.
To the south and west and north they belong.
So blood is shed and flesh is torn.
Such is the fate of many people born.
As said once things were never fair.
Fair was she, yes, silk is her hair.
Know that he never did win enough.
For for some people, Fate is tough.
And so he retreated to Mongolia of which none knows in excess,
To Mongolia where a Gorgon reigns as princess.
Hope will one day come to the weary one day.
Amen, for in The Lord's name we pray.

Wishlist

So close to christmas, and i even forget to put wish list up. Really blur these days. well, working makes me busy you see.

Ok then, wishlist up:

1)Projection ability (Able to create things just by thinking about them)
2)A Servant
3)PS3
4)A chisakatana
5)the sky
6)A warhorse
7)Plastic surgery
8)iPod nano
9)A submarine with a lab on board
10)a collection box
11)White comic ink
12)A FSN poster
13)New pen tips

The Gorgon Breaker

I had, overall a very nice day yesterday. Went off a bit... unlucky i might say. But, i cheered up during lunch. And, i was eating taiyakis for lunch. As a friend once put it to me, taiyaki does cheer up your mood, esp when your down. Nothing so heartwarming as remembering that mum used to buy them for me often when i was young.

Then when i went to work the evening shift i had it rather easy for a dinner rush shift. Oh yea! The ace in the hole when i got back, seeing the sentinel on top of the cpu. Yes, Medusa, silently waiting for my return. Ordered the figurine from the net, and i expected it to come like around Christmas. Nice to see that she came in early.



And i have been refreshed. Cleared. The blindfold is off me now. I know who has been tormenting me since i was young and naive. Thanks, for telling me! Cultures, and humans, we all define ourselves by conflict. And a vengeful conflict is here. I shall live for revenge now, of course, i have other reasons to live for. Like mangaka work and biology. Pressing on now. The Breaker has broken my leash.

Dreams. Like the Godfather.

Oh yes. Havent been blogging lately. And i attribute it to lack of inspiration, or lack of notable events. And since i lack real-life events, i shall use - my dreams.

Yes. I noticed that, for 6 days straight, Medusa appeared in my dreams. Not the typical portrayal of Medusa. New-age prefers her to be what original Greek myth had intended for her to be, the Gorgon beauty. We all have been watching too much Clash of the Titans. Its inaccurate. More or less, i like the way Medusa is potrayed in Fate/stay night. But its a tragic story for Medusa-san. Well, last night i had a rather eventful dream. Here it goes, all summed up for you:

I was intending to kill some vile mobsters. And guess what? They were the lowest of the gangsters. the scum of organised crime. The damn loan sharks. I was gonna ambush a bunch of them, who were like gonna do bad stuff to one dear friend. Thats precisely WHY THEY ARE SCUMS. Thats WHY I SHOULD SHOOT THEIR DAMN FRICKEN HEADS WITH A 357 MAGNUM REVOLVER! Alas, alas. I chickened out. Dint get into a shootout with them. My gun wasnt big enough.... There were 8 of them, so i didnt go ahead with the violent tactic. I did manage to get my friend out of their way, to safety. Then i threw myself at the boss' feet I pleaded and grovelled with their boss. A disgusting fat hairy old man. Who is balding. So i pleaded and grovelled with him. He decided to spare us, after i tried to get loopholes to save my friend. Strangely, they worked. Well, then i warped back home, wierdly it seems, then i saw Medusa in my house. She didnt do much, she didnt petrify me or statueify me. Yup, then i went online shopping to buy figurines.

End of dream.

There was a better way the dream could have turned out. If only Medusa had come to fight the ah longs. Then they would be pierced painfully by her chain-stakes or frozen in stone. Or Medusa would mount up on her Pegasus mount and kill the sharks Cool, yeah. The true happy ending. Been watching Fate/stay night too much. Will carry on watching it. Hahaha

What is....

It then appears that I am indeed thrown out into the world with eyes wide open and desperate, perhaps insane. Its freezing. Out there. And its freezing here. I just feel cold. It must be the dreams. The dreams, returning to plague me again. Hahas, but one funny bit. Saw one of my friends dating Nagato Yuki of Haruhi fame.

It seems, that humans define their existence throught misery and suffering. And maybe that is true for most. Or of a few who can somehow define their existence through happiness. As if in a utopia.

I used to think i was very free. Freer than some other specific persons. And it actually comes to lght that I am as much a prisoner as the next guy. I have such a lousy host body. Does it have to matter?

Idiom(t)

I'd like to quote an idiom. An idiot, qouting an idiom, geddit? lame....i know i am so very lame.

But since i was kinda of an idiot, then maybe i should qoute it after all. Hence leaving it shrouded to the rest. Hopefully it wont hurt anyone. I do hope i can get a day off this weekend. I just wanna relax. Just wanna see if i can learn anything. Big things to do i think. Maybe it will de-idiotify me. Yes. That last one, very very important. Maybe.

From friend to friend;
and enemy to enemy;
but naught means all that above.
Do come back and stay the same.

A random rant

You know, maybe... Never mind. Ya somethings might be true. After all, its human nature. Thus do people grow. Very differently from each other. Or that i am again being an ungrateful idiot or a real selfish ass.

Well, still cant stop things from unfurling. cos God only can. But He wont cos He has great things by which to propser like, everybody. Even if small litttle bugs and thingies in life do annoy/attack us. Still getting my kicks in life anyway.

I'd like a rifle and bullets. Then can camp on a roof and shoot evil criminals like ah longs and robbers and kidnappers and pedophiles. oh, too much vigilante-ness? Sorry folks! See ya on my next post. Yaya. Bye!

Little or none

My life, when i look back at it, is just full of regrets. Or things that I regret over. maybe there is still time. Yeah. Of course, i hope so. Hope. Just the carrot dangling in front of the pack mule to keep it going.

Anyway... I do have stuff to do this holidays. Hoping to enjoy myself. And maybe time to make amends maybe? Im getting frantic now. Hahahas.

Little - Big

That little sliver of fear comes. There are those who choose to ignore such things. Then that little sliver grows into a big sliver. Not funny, i guess. What should i do? Stop lying to myself and do something alr? Maybe im just being an idiot. A blinded idiot.

Time to... i dunno... give thanks?