Things certainly are boiling up at home, here. My head seriously hurts. And more. Why cant people just lay back on the cursing? Is condemnation really so fun on others? Living in fear, day after day...

I need to hide a knife or something.

Paradox Paradigm

I spent much of my day in adrenaline rush. No, never been able to count my pulse. Too busy. Only after nice dinner and dessert, and going home with my work done, then has my heart gone to rest. Flipping finally. Adrenaline rush, also beacuse its almost over a year since.... A lot of stuff happened. Then close shaves too. Fate turned out so different just for a lack of SiO2. Lawlz.

The titular paradox is quite a paradox for one such as me to deal with. What am i to do? Naturally, some things people must dispense off. Else it will just rot away inside, without its upkeep. Thanatos in all its glory.

ever cry, ever life

Tissue paper-thin

Well, this is it. 1 year has passed. And so, I wish happy anniversary. No gifts in particular save for downing 3 bottles of green tea (at MY cost, so doesn't count as a gift), and also got 'scolded' a fair deal by the rest of the Quartet. And others too. Bring on the scolding... I'm jaded and cynical. Blame my low luck rating - E. That accounts for all the bad shit that happened since 17/09/1992. honestly, i shouldnt even be here, existing.

The nature of one's origins, or at least their motivations and guiding principles. Consider mine - Detachment. the nature of death (of the soul/heart) is something some people have explored. At least for the darker ones. Besides happy anniversary, I must too wish happy 1st birthday to my evil, yin split-personality. Or birthday is a little inaccurate, so let it be happy 1st freedom anniversary.

Sometimes we feel surrounded by problems on all sides. Also, feeling totally helpless in such a predicament. And thankfully, most of the time, we'd be able to overcome them. But there would then go a cycle of stuff, so its natural, so it's life.

Unknown for the most part, it was very much isolated. Nobody around really cared much of appreciating that folorn building. And then, a group of adventurers erm, adventured into it. They did much help there. Much of it, at least for a while. I would suppose it got forgotten, perhaps. Because things change. The focus shifted, as with in change. People hate change. years of growing up under home conditions do make an impact on one's psyche. I've gotten quite used to the isolation thing, perhaps. Maybe not.

Caffeine and responsibility

Sometimes we feel totally surrounded by problems. Quote me as example. Ergh. It's a question of...choice indeed. I'd put another poem, but time is as always against me.

Really,it is.

And,time to squish my hands together and recite. too bad,that y'all would only hear it later. sigh....... i am thirsty. coke, anybody?

ever the techophobe.

I happened to chance on my old blog, just a little glimpse of the past. It's shut down for now. And i remember how silly the layout looked, just gawdy coloured. Not that it matters now. Chronicling the somewhat vague memories of late 08, for a not so long but eventful period.

It shouldnt be a suprise that I'm being scolded and stuff. I have a right to be scolded like this, from a certain point of view. just...carry on lah.

The question of responsibilities and silly shit can....only be seen...much much later. Please may I do reasonably well for whatever exams (however pointless). and to you mindless drone, you oversentient cyborg, i flip my middle finger at you.i hope to prove you wrong and dismantle you.that'd put machines in their rightful,granted place.end of story.

maybe i should dedicate my life to God Almighty and hunt down deranged, self-aware, oversentient bio-mechanical beings with a bunch'a holy swords and guns. me, ever the technophobe.

Life is never normal at the Arthurian court

enjoy the seat.....

Said seat is a blessing and a curse. Think of it as Knights of the Round Table, the Seat Perilous. Unlike Arthur's Knights, filling up said seat will not signal the doom of the Table. Not quite much of a doom, but maybe change. What exactly, I can't be sure. I mean, only one loyal knight has filled it once before, but that's all. He's failed to obtain the Holy Grail. This much we know.

It is a blessing to help. It is a blessing to see others' happiness. But doomed is his happiness, he who seats. Long will others' joy live, at the cheap expense of one's. Wisdom is a gift, and loneliness is it's married curse.

Sir Galahad, I salute thee, courageous knight, on your appointment (though it was pretty much a long time ago, and this one's just to make it official). Long live the King! (*ahem*, FSN fans)

Enjoy... the seat Perilous.

oh.

I'd like to add a few chapters. haha. but i'm watching movies again late into the night. its nice anyway.....they are all nice. oh, do i happen to be somewhat more alert? blame the caffeine.... i do not... give a sheet of napkins.

and, ooh, i happen to be trope surfing too...its for my writing.

Squish.

Whoosh, I let myself soak in the rain. No umbrella, duh? and i was listening to music, again. I'm so addicted. But, I'm afraid I can't share summa my fav songs to some ppl. Piracy, hahah. actually, i just might feel that it does not fit for some ppl.

some ppl like noisy, and i cant give them quiet. It's anathema to them. Ideology difference. Just... wrong. I reckon somebody could have known too.... Music and studying. and more music.heheheheh.as if.

And my memory is good for crazy things... but not important things like exams and mugging. if i were looking at myself, i'd flip myself off, no doubt.

Time to squish some sarcasm...

Go for the COMA!

It seems that I'm standing in the middle of some sandstorm and all the sand and stuff is blowing about.. It's been happening in my dreams recently. Emo stuff that is. Is it a representation of my cold detachment? I've caught myself staring blankly with some cold gleam that says.... 'the past sucks. i don't care now.'

It's not too long off. Would anyone bother?? NO~ cuz.... cuz..... #@$%@%@#@*%*^!^)*(^)(^@*()%*(%&*@%&^@&%^&*%*@%&*^@$%*^@^*%. something's gone, it totally is. Hahahaha.

I am so done here.

Would that i really did follow up to that... would that i really did.

Thank you.

That was a sword. not a word, it's a sword. and its AN ALL NEW IMPROVED SWORD WITH TWO EDGES FOR TWICE THE VIOLENCE. me and abstract, just go REALLY WELL.

More...

Yes, more. I was surfing the net again out of boredom. Randomly started song-hunting again, being such a music addict nowadays. Lyrics went in the hunt too. Then for this one song, I was like "Sacred Feces!"

Yes, more 'sacred feces' again. FML? Nah, only if you consider chem exams. Then in that case, it will be FML. But, i dont want to get reminded of chem. Nope, never.

The connections between sickness and vigor.

I'm pumped with some blogging spirit for now.

And pumped with chaotic, stormy, beat-heavy music. Here's the topic. I must admit, copyright crap that I dont care about. Well, I have a slightly different view. Well, you'd best understand, for your own good. I knew, I did know. Maybe when things all go according to plan, when eyes are opened. Then, i shall see the renenging. It's not a bad thing. Blame my random caffiene-fuelled imagination. It's been supplying me with words to write, but at the same time, it's tearing me up all the same.

But, I really felt like putting in these quotes (by various imaginary people) below. I think they're cool and emotional. But those quotes will be a long way to come. I hope they'll come quickly as I write. Think of it as a movie trailer, with these lines coming in order listed below, with cool music playing.

"So this is what I've become... I've betrayed my love with evil deeds."

"I... caused more hurt than help... forgive me..."

"Cheer up. I'm sure this will blow over in time. I'll stake everything on it. I promise to see my friend recover completely. Won't you?"

"Long time no see..."

"You..."

"I can't take it anymore..."

"Whatever. I'm keeping this oath till I die."

"Stop! Stop! Stop! STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!"

"I don't want.. to die like this..."