my selfish.

It's so strange that I find myself doing this. And for how long already?
8 months, and 8 months too long it is.

Well, if it is what you say it is, then I too might take it as such. taking a quote from Tohsaka Rin, then yeah, i would agree that it is true...

Well then, I too have wishes, and a list of them, no less. But I do expect some people to slam me down for making such wishes, saying its selfish of me. Well so i am selfish after all, just because I want my lot in life.

1) Tsun. Dere.
2) Real dreams, for just once would still be great anyway.
3) Better subjects, and by extension grades.
4) A tanto
5) That I wouldn't even to have to make wishlists.

I'd like to watch the princess bride...
Old show, but classic. Made of awesome.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"As you wish..."

My undying gratitude to whom may help fulfil even one item on my list.
My undying gratitude undying just as some other aspects...

Kara no Kyoukai.

Kara no Kyoukai is a novel (later adapted for 7-parter movie series) by Kinoko Nasu of Type-Moon fame. He's done a really good job, considering that traditional novels have to be three times as exciting to compare with that of a visual novel.

Some people do ask why I like it. Well, to put it short, it's awesome.
I actually watched it only after reading the genre tag on it: romance.
It's got a dark setting and environment, true, but welcome home juxtaposition!
The darker the shadows are, the brighter the light is.

And the music... Kalafina ftw! And this I safely say that the soundtrack is Kajiura Yuki's magnum opus.



Feel very free to listen. It sounds sepulcheral at first, but by 2:00 it will be the most beautiful thing to grace your ears. The music that plays grandly when a couple, through all odds, find their happiness in one another.



"I'm won't ever let you go."
- Mikiya to Shiki

Just heartwarming.

p.s.

Ryougi Shiki... did somethings pretty nasty (justified though, lucky Mikiya). And she's a girl.
Looking at proportions...

Murder Study 2

Well, got it at last, subs and all.
watched it this afternoon, and I cried thrice. It's quite sad, some parts...
Nevertheless, never failed to disappoint. Epic as the rest, yet with the most psychological character development and romantic development.
And the hardcore romantic that is me just has to go watch it.

Yay Rakkyo!!!
and awwwwww....












And the theme song, likely intended to be from Shiki's point of view:
seventh heaven by Kalafina

utatte hoshii
shizuka na ai no kotoba
nai teitanoha
anata noseijanakute
yoru no nakani kie te itta
awayuki ni wakare wo tsuge tano

yami no naka kara kiko eta mune no kodou ga
yatto itami wo watashi ni oshie tekureta
o kono kizu ni kuchizuke te
hakanaku fureau yubi wo
hanasa naideite
zutto

konnani akaru i sekai he
kimi ga watashi wo tsure te kita
mabushiku te mabushiku te
nanimo mie nai
hikari no naka

tsuyoku dakishimeteite
kogoe ta toiki wo wake ai
anata to watashi no
nagori no yuki ga toke te

soreha yume noyouna
hibi no naka
anata ga waratteru
soredakedeii
o tada soba ni iru kara

mou hitori janai
zutto
futari de iku
mahoroba

utatte hoshii
kimi no boku no
yoru no asa no

umi no
sora no shirabe

and translations:

I want you to sing
The quiet words of love
Why I cried
Wasn't because of you
But that you announced our parting in the light snow
That was vanishing into the night

The heartbeats of a chest that I heard from within the darkness
Finally taught me of pain
Please kiss my wounds
Please don't let your fingers
That touch me briefly leave me
Ever

You brought me
Into a world this bright
It's too glaring, it's too glaring
I can't see anything
Within the light

Please embrace me tightly
Share our frozen breaths
Melt the snow that remains
In you and me

It's that within
The dreamlike days
You're laughing
I'm fine with just that
Because you're simply by my side

I'm not alone anymore
Forever
We'll go together
To Arcadia

I want you to sing
Your, my
The night's, the morning's

The sea's

The sky's tune

Happy days for Shiki and Mikiya...
Awwwwwwh.....
warm, fuzzy feeling even if i'm not so happy here...
I'll just dream then...

...and nothing heart - ...not nothing heart

Thank you TakaJun!

Subs! Subs! Subs!

Sigh... I heard murder study 2 is very very sad....
sigh...
love hurts, its true.
Love hurts worse than a knife in your eye, worse than losing a thumb, worse than losing an arm, worse than losing a leg, worse than being stabbed in the chest, worse than all the above combined. and I'd do all that for love that doesnt hurt. sadly so... not so much the fair trade for me.

Kizuato

Ever the historian, I was doing the usual text study, but apparently careless me missed out, or plain forgot some things.

And how i laughed. Not the hearty laughter that I hear too often, and have too little of. Sardonic, self-deprecating laughter at the irony.

To scream Ho Yay!
To qoute half a title by Dan Brown,
-only to disappear.
Coming to terms with several differences,
Making a strong stand,
And how justly is the reward given.
And then, an attempt to reach out...
Things are fine... but another conflict comes.
And for safety's sake, voluntary exile.
And people question their domestic choices, and the dream i once had goes to oblivion.
A cornered rat does not go down without a fight.
Lash, and the hand is bitten thus.
An uneasy peace exists, not only in my own home but others.
Squick. More squick. Why so? Has it been so long? Why wont it stop!?!?!?
And a nightmare i hope will never see.
But, even as I saw the turn so long ago, I see a possible redemption...

I do not know, after all people do change, in more ways than some thought possible.

I don't like weak people.
I don't like sick people.

7

T'is serenity most unnatural, because it is felt by me. A beautiful smile indeed.

T'is only me and me only, for i am different from he. For i am i, thus no one will help me for a fifth of a flower and a seventh of a person, both beautiful nevertheless. The favour (or lack thereof) is returned. But who is to care?

Come pray with me...
In the Garden of Sinners...
Come repent with me...

Boukyaku Rokuon

Given my status as a triple dere with varying degrees of kuudere, tsundere, and yandere, so i have 3 quantities of each.

Maybe i'm thinking tsundere appeals more than yandere...

And I'm waiting again for Kara No Kyoukai 7: Murder Study Part 2 ...not nothing heart.

Sigh.... And with kara no kyoukai, i also like Kalafina music too...

眩しくて眩しくて
mabushiku te mabushiku te...
nanimo mie nai
hikari no naka

tsuyoku dakishimeteite
kogoe ta toiki wo wake ai
anata to watashi no
nagori no yuki ga toke te

soreha yume noyouna
hibi no naka
anata ga waratteru
soredakedeii
o tada soba ni iru kara

mou hitori janai
zutto
futari de iku
mahoroba

...not nothing heart

No english subs for murder study 2 yet....

So no thrills for me... i cannot wait to see that antagonist get comeuppance....

Though my Clairvoyance is ranked D, and another's as C, it's apparent enough.... And i understand, maybe, however much it cuts. Concessions and scrifices are everybodys' to make. Who am I to? But i have crazy vivid dreams... Junkies... and Russian libraries... i saw tears and rage and swells...





Ahnenerbe

From a tiny cosy cafe, the light streams through the tints. It's European-styled, which I like, and that adds to the atmosphere. I can forget my recent troubling encounters in the Russian library there. I sip my coffee and enjoy the aroma. The sky has cleared, and I can see the other side of the street. I see a hand, too. I've got to go. Now that the coffee is finished, I check my boots, put on my jacket, and get up from my seat. I take one last look at the cafe, my last look for the day, before I return for their fragrant coffee soon. That cafe is my sanctum, the refuge in those times of your life. This one in particular is for relieving that issue in the Russian library just hours ago. I wave to the barrista, and I've just got two waves, one before, and one upon leaving. Without a word, I turned behind facing the exit door. I turned the knob of the door leading to the streetpath.



微笑してあなたとのちょうどあることおよびもらうことは私を幸せにさせた。



それは私が不安だったのに、私に心の安らぎを持って来た。



あなたとあなたとのちょうどあることおよび歩くことは私を幸せにさせた。



私達が一緒になかったのに、一緒にある。



それらは実際におぼろげな日の跡である。

Sarashi

Well, it could go to show something, but one drop of water is not one ocean, it needs many many drops of water. One little skill doesnt quite make what is 'expected' of me, nor do i show interest.

I also can't quite explain 3 nights of strange dreams in a row... First, robbers, gangs, and dynamite. Second, painting, toilets, and shock. Third, Russian libraries, arguments, and cats. No, i dont know how and why.

And i'm waiting for rakkyo 7!! epic finale and conclusion to the thrills.... and hopefully the void in me as well...

heiretsu, suichoku

All done, or thought of, with true purpose.

Part of a cleaning operation so... so that more good can happen, apparently.

apt

Aptly named is my blog and blogskin. Thanks very much, IcedOtaku!

And aptly named. Weak is the hollow shell that is me, and all is weak. It is this emptiness that has me in a strange state of serenity and calmness as I see bad things happen around me. And yet... I tenaciously fight on, for that is my nature, and all that happens around me. I know this is weird. It's like triad wars in Kowloon, where one has to fight for their lot. Has this upbringing and permeating air of violence established itself in me? Or just a Cantonese thing?

Or is this United Independent Personalities? Existing simultaneously, each having their own unique will, and on top of that one's actions are coordinated. That sort of complex personality shouldn't be called a dissociated identity, but rather united independent personalities.

...Is that how the 'yan' comes about in 'yandere'?

I have truly been born in the wrong century. Wherefore art the days of honour gone?

At least.

At least.

At least.

It happens, or will.

What does the timeline say, in this never-ending gyre of life and death, of gain and loss, of light and dark, of order and chaos, of waking and sleeping, of pride and humility, of peace and violence, of joy and sorrow, of contentment and emptiness? What doth the timeline sayeth? It said good. I bled to make sure it said good, and wrote it down in the books, that it be preserved as such in its pristine glory.

And in the end, it is the young ones who will lead ahead of their peers, at least in one aspect only. And the even younger will, in time come to the top.

It's a mathematical equation.

X+6=13

Unlucky number 13, but guess who gets it?

自滅は私に招く。 私は空の境界に近い方に歩み、放す。 私は空の境界を交差させ、自分自身はある空の神社、文字通り行くために割り当て、パラドックスの螺線形で下方に落ちる。 私が去った後とき、そしてそ私が感じた苦痛の残りの感覚を覚えているので、私は疑問に思う: 私のおとぎ話はどこで始まるか。